Last Joke of the Year: An Engineer Goes to Hell

Have a Devil of a Great Time Tonite!

Have a Devil of a Great Time Tonite!

(Folks: Obviously, an engineer wrote this, in spite of the title! You will see why in a minute!)

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.  St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re assigned to hell.”

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and building improvements.

After awhile, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators and — the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan on the telephone, and says with a lordly air, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators.  There’s no telling what  what our engineer is going to come up with next!”

God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should have never gotten down there; send him back immediately!

Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him!”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue!”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers: “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU  going to get a lawyer?”

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As always, “Thanks” to Dorothy139!

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Here’s hoping you and yours have a wonderful and safe NEW YEAR!

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This is a companion to my website: EasyOnlineOrdering.com

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Published in: on December 31, 2008 at 4:14 pm  Comments Off on Last Joke of the Year: An Engineer Goes to Hell  
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Can You Take the Wild Taste Out of Venison? (1 of 3)

 

020176L_One Chance Only

Protect Your Investment with Proper Handling!

 

Essentially, there are two major times your handling of the meat affects the deer’s taste:  just after the deer is killed and just before you cook the venison.

When I Know the Venison Will Be Awful

When I see proud hunters, with deer draped over the truck top or hanging out of the back of a truck while they are driving, I shudder. They certainly weren’t in it for the meat!

That meat is going to be “gamy” – if not outright spoiled. What are they thinking? Driving down I-45 on a day like today (temperature was 72), just how long would you expect a piece of beef to remain edible, on the top of a truck?

Critical Timing

The few hours after slaying the deer  are critical! Quick field dressing (more on this next time) is essential. Some folks, shooting a deer about dark, leave the body in the snow, to dress it in the am. This is a fatal error!

Another item critical to the taste of the venison meat is — washing out the carcass with water ASAP after field dressing.

Your knife must be sharp and your hand swift and sure. Entrails not carefully removed will affect taste.

Where’s the Ice?

Deer, after death, are still warm. It is critical to get everything iced ASAP. Sometimes, it is not possible to have the deer under ice within the 2 hour window.  At least have bags of ice in the body cavity by that time.

MDH* disagrees with the paragraph above & he has valid points: Putting precious ice in a warm body is a waste. He opens the body cavity to cool down, while he does other parts of processing (depending on the temperature, he may be skinning the deer, also to cool the carcass).

Skinning may be a great plan in 40 degree weather (or less). However, when it is warmer, the best plan may be to quarter the animal and  get it into coolers.

He also disagrees with the idea that a deer must be under ice within 2 hours.  It’s a great goal, but not always practical, especially if you’ve shot the deer miles from homebase.

A Lifelong Deer Processor Says …

1) “Get it Clean

2) Get it Cold

3) Get it Cut”

Dave and Ruth, of  http://www.best-venison.com have a wonderful site.  They show so much info that is helpful to a hunter: “venison cuts charts, visual aids and estimating your yield.”

The PRICELESS CATEGORY, however, is: “Venison Value.” Show this to your wife next time she tells you hunting costs too much. (Of course this is based on the assumption that you have shot a deer!)

Did You Know?

Venison does not freeze until it cools down below 28 degrees.

Next Time

January 1, I’ll finish this article with other ways to reduce ‘gamy taste’ in venison.

Have a wonderful New Year!

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*MDH = My Deer Husband, or “He who likes to be obeyed.” (but rarely is)

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Another “Oh, My” Story: A Piebald Buck!

 

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Incredible!

 

The Latest from MDH*

This is a Piebald Buck – nabbed by a hunter in WI.

 

What a Magnificant Beast!

What a Magnificent Beast!

He sent these photos  around to folks & the owner of Cabella’s paid him $13,000 for the head and hide. A calico buck like this one is rarer than an albino.

 

Astonishing!

Astonishing!

 

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*MDH = My Deer Husband

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Update of 10/10/2010:  Snopes has the story.  It was shot on private land in East Texas.  Click on “snopes” for more.  They state the photos are real but the description is wrong.

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Published in: on December 29, 2008 at 4:55 pm  Comments (11)  
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Amazing Stories of 2008 – Published by (Gasp) Others!

 

What a Rack! What a Story!

What a Rack! 30 Points of "Oh, My Goodness!"

 

Yep, I hate to admit it. Others have produced some really great posts. Some were outrageously funny, some are just outrageous! All of these are worth your time….

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Most Important Choice

Probably the ‘YouTube’ show,  “What’s the Difference Between Assault Weapons & Sporting Rifles?” Leroy Pyle does more to dispel the emotion from these words than anyone else I’ve seen to date.

This video lasts less than 12 minutes and demonstrates the items under discussion.  His language is clear and low-key; just what is needed.

Most Useful

Without a doubt, learning how to clean a duck from a master hunter is wonderful. Don’t be put off by the fact this series (of 5 short videos) was produced with young hunters in mind.

Oh My Gosh!

Eat Your Heart Out: Amazing New MS State Archery Record!  is another jaw-dropper!  Congrats to Michael Burkley!

Good Grief! A 30 Point Deer! ** Update on 10/10/2010:

Snopes has an interesting story about the photo(s).  It seems the Amish community (and a few other hunters) were aware there was a huge deer in Adams County, Ohio.

John Schmucker, an Amish adult, killed the deer on the first day of bow hunting season. This deer is the largest ever taken by a crossbow in Ohio and the 2nd largest in the state — ever.

When measured, the final Boone & Crockett score was 291 and2/8 from a gross score of 300 and 6/8.

Click on the underlined Snopes for the whole story.

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The Year Isn’t Over

“Well, it ain’t over till it’s over,” sums up this latest story – just noticed it a few minutes ago on Rocky Mountain News.

Randy Goodman of Sedalia, Mo., reminds us all why Missouri is the “Show Me” State.  He went to collect the 240 lb. deer he’d just shot – twice.

Getting ready to pack his – obviously dead – 9 pointer back to camp, Goodman made a small mistake.  He forgot to make sure the deer was completely dead.

The deer took offense,*  jumped up and attacked the veteran hunter with his antlers and bulk.  The rest of the story is at: http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/081202-ap-deer-attack.html or @ http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/dec/02/wounded-deer-attacks-hunter-who-shot-him/

 

A Sadder & Wiser Good Man!

A Sadder & Wiser Good Man!

 

* The deer seems to have been offended that Mr. Goodman didn’t SHOW ME I’M DEAD!’ (Even the deer are into the “show me” mindset!) Sheesh!

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

 

Round-Up of Ghillie Suit Info!

 

Bow Hunters Need Special Suits

Bow Hunters Need Special Suits

 

At one point, I thought I was an “expert” on ghillie suits. Hah!

Changes and innovation are happening so rapidly that it is now hard just to stay up with Ghillie gear!

This Year’s Articles:

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Published in: on December 27, 2008 at 10:21 am  Comments (1)  
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Knife Round-Up: The Many Facets of Knives

At one time, I sold Gerber & Leatherman tools and did a series of informational articles about knives.  I was going to erase the group, however, they are read so often, I just left them up for my readers.

These articles are not about Gerber specifically, although I often use Gerber knives to illustrate the post.

Guess Who Collects Knives?

For about 5 weeks, I was carrying around a large (picture) book* of  knives – ancient and modern.  I had no idea how popular knives are!

I nearly dropped my teeth, however, when women would walk up to me and talk about their knife collections!

Maybe it’s just a Texas thing.

* The name of the book is in one or more of the articles.  I borrowed it from the Houston Public Library.

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

The Lead-in-Venison Controversy

 

Lead-in-Venison Controversy!

Lead-in-Venison Controversy!

 

States played leap-frog over each other to see who could raise the alarm loudest. The only thing they forgot to do —  test even one package of venison!

This is another of those ‘much-ado-about-nothing’ stories. Watch the progression (your taxes being wasted) here.

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Published in: on December 26, 2008 at 1:02 am  Comments Off on The Lead-in-Venison Controversy  
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The UV Collection: Hunting Clothes & UV Brighteners

 

Click for More Info!

What UV Brighteners?

 

This is a fascinating topic – that won’t go away. Why? A clever company has found a way to capitalize on a glitch in the hunter’s clothing market.

Is this a Serious Problem?

I don’t know; it depends on who is doing the talking.  Some folks swear by “UV-Killer” and some swear at it.

So far, I’ve been unable to determine if there’s another way to remove UV brighteners, once they’ve been added to hunting garments.

MDH doesn’t have a single garment that does not have  UV brighteners (in other words, everything he wears has the brighteners, which is supposed to be the ‘kiss of death’ for hunters).

Yet, Richard hauls home at least one deer or elk every year. He seems unfazed by the problem. Is it because he’s always in a blind (thus deer cannot see his clothing)?  No, he stalks game too.

I hear from others who wouldn’t dream of setting foot in a hunting situation without all clothing being carefully cleaned of UV brighteners.

Anyway, the issue is as intriguing as it has always been. Here are the articles relating to this issue, for your reading pleasure.

The UV Brightener Issue

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

My Article Collection: Shooting Spike Deer

 

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Deer Watching You!

 

There’s lots of controversy over whether to shoot a spike.  Drawing on a ‘white paper’ from the Texas Parks & Wildlife, I explained the reasoning behind their stance on this issue. I’m sure this will not satisfy all hunters, but they do provide a great deal of evidence to prove their hypothesis. If you are trying to improve your deer herd, this is some worthwhile reading!

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1) Should I Shoot a Spike While Hunting White-tail?

2) Why Don’t We Just Let that Little Spike Grow Up?

3) What About Spikes While Whitetail Deer Hunting?

4) This Spike is Better Lookin’ Than Any….

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Published in: on December 25, 2008 at 11:15 am  Comments Off on My Article Collection: Shooting Spike Deer  
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My Wild Game Recipe Collection – Thus Far

 

Here's The Whole Shebang!

Here's The Whole Enchilada!

 

These recipes have been spread out over so many months, you may  have missed some.

  • Just Ducky – Wild Duck – Chesapeake Barbecued                                          Duck and Roasted Wild Duck
  • 2 Ways with Venison – Pecan-Crusted Venison, Tex-                                    Mex Venison
  • Deer Chili in a Slow Cooker “Brazos River Bottom                                     Killed-on-the-Road Texas Chili” and LBJ’s River Chili

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com