Some Jokes for the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth!

Hope you are enjoying the holiday as much as I am!  My friend, Dorothy139, sent some jokes.  Because they are so long, I’ll divide them into 3 parts. Enjoy!

Today’s Jokes


Anniversary Gift!

Anniversary Gift!


I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that’s when the fight started…..


My wife and I were watching ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ while we
were in bed.

I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend..” 

And that’s when the fight started….


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed the  dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into
a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage,
turned on the  radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into

I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’

My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid
husband is out fishing in that?’

And then the fight started …



A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.  Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
‘Holy Shit. That must be my husband!’

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked – jumped out the
window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’

The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’

And then the fight started……


Keep smilin’!


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Published in: on July 4, 2009 at 12:37 pm  Comments Off on Some Jokes for the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth!