More Jokes — Four for the Fifth (of July)

 

A Toast to the Guy Who Doesn't Understand Women!

Here's to a Guy who Doesn't Understand Women!

 

Well, the holiday is almost over!  My friend, Dorothy139, sent some jokes. Because they are so long, I’ve divided them into 3 parts.  This is Part 2.

Today’s Jokes

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

~

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, ‘I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started……

~

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.

“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?””

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And then the fight started…

~

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking    right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t
been sober since.’

‘My God!’ said my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…

~

This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Advertisements
Published in: on July 5, 2009 at 11:27 pm  Comments Off on More Jokes — Four for the Fifth (of July)  
Tags: ,
%d bloggers like this: