Things I Have Learned in Texas

A Possum is a Flat Animal that Sleeps in the Middle of the Road

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There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas *

 

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In Texas, We Know What a ‘Hissy Fit’ Is!

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There are 10,000 Types of Spiders. All 10,000 of Them Live in Texas, Plus a Couple No One's Seen Before

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Fried Catfish is the Other White Meat!

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If it Grows, it'll Stick Ya. If it Crawls, it'll Bite Cha.

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‘Onced’ and ‘Twiced’ are words!

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It is Not a Shopping Cart, it is a Buggy!

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People Actually Grow and Eat Okra!

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We Think that the First Day of Deer Season is a National Holiday! **

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There is No Such Thing as Lunch. There is Only ‘Dinner’ and Then There is ‘Supper.’

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‘Fixinto’ is one word. It means I’m fixing to do that.

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Iced Tea is Appropriate for all Meals and You Start Drinking it When You’re Two. We Do Like a Little Tea with our Sugar. It is Referred to as the ‘Wine of the South.’

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‘Backwards and Forwards’ Means I Know Everything About You

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The Word 'Jeet' is Actually a Phrase Meaning 'Did You Eat?'

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‘Jawl-P?’ Means ‘Did Y’all Go to the Bathroom?’

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You Don’t Have to Wear a Watch, Because it Doesn’t Matter What Time it is, You Work Until You’re Done or it’s too Dark to See

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You Don’t ‘PUSH’ Buttons, You ‘MASH’ em

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You Measure Distance in Minutes

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You Switch from Heat to A/C in the Same Day

 

 

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All the Festivals Across the State are Named After a Fruit, Vegetable, Grain, Insect, or Animal

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Going to Wal-Mart is a Favorite Pastime Known as 'Goin' Wal-Martin' or 'Off to Wally World'

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You Know What a ‘DAWG’ Is!

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You Carry Jumper Cables in Your Car – for Your OWN Car!

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You Only Own 5 Spices: Salt, Pepper, Tonys, Tabasco and Ketchup

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‘Ya’ll’ is Singular, ‘All Ya’ll’ is Plural!

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The Local Papers Cover National and International News on one Page, but Require 6 Pages for Local High School Sports and Motor Sports and Gossip!

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We Don’t Need no Dang Driver’s Ed. If our Mama Says We Can Drive, We Can Drive, Dag-Nabbit.

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Yes, this is my list of the 28 most important things I’ve learned in Texas!

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* ‘Snake Pit’ is used by permission of ClearVue Graphics

** ‘Dream Team Winter’ is used by permission of Vantage Point Graphics

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SUNDAY:   Come back and see a whole new category of Rear Window Graphics!

Come see the NRA Graphics!

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

 

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Published in: on February 4, 2011 at 12:09 am  Comments Off on Things I Have Learned in Texas  
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