Today’s Joke: Liberals vs. Texans

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Texas has compiled a Liberal to Texan Translation Directory. This should be helpful for you Californians … and other liberals,  and offer a chuckle for all.

(You need not agree!)

CALIFORNIA                                                      TEXAS

  • Arsenal of Weapons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gun Collection
  • Delicate Wetlands . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Swamp
  • Undocumented Worker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Illegal Alien
  • Cruelty-Free Materials . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Synthetic Fibers

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  • Assault-and-Battery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Attitude Adjustment
  • Heavily Armed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well-protected
  • Narrow Minded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Righteous
  • Taxes or Your Fair Share  . . . . . . . . . . . . Coerced Theft

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  • Common sense Gun Control . . . . . . . . . . Gun Confiscation Plot
  • Illegal Hazardous Explosives . . . . . . . . . Fireworks or Stump Removal
  • Non-viable Tissue Mass . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Unborn baby
  • Equal Access to Opportunity. . . . . . . . . .Socialism

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  • Multicultural Community . . . . . . . . . . . .High Crime Area
  • Fairness or Social Progress . . . . . . . . . . .Marxism
  • Upper Class or “The Rich” . . . . . . . . . . . . Self-Employed
  • Progressive, Change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Big Government Scheme

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  • Homeless or Disadvantaged . . . . . . . . . . Bums or Welfare Leeches
  • Sniper Rifle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Scoped Deer Rifle
  • Investment for the Future . . . . . . . . . . . Higher Taxes
  • Healthcare Reform . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Socialized Medicine

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  • Extremist, Judgmental or Hater . . . . . . .Conservative
  • Truants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Home schoolers
  • Victim or Oppressed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Criminal or Lazy Good for Nothings
  • High Capacity Magazine . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Standard Capacity Magazine

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  • Religious Zealot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Church-going
  • Reintroduced Wolves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sheep & Elk Killers
  • Free Trade Coffee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
  • “Exploiters” or “The Rich” . . . . . . . . . . . . . Employed or Land Owners

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  • The Gun Lobby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . NRA Members
  • Assault Weapon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M-1 Carbine)
  • Fiscal Stimulus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .New Taxes and Higher Taxes
  • Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting . . . . . . Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

Hope you enjoyed this poke at our understanding of the English Language!

Next Time:  We’ll get serious!

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

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Published in: on May 3, 2011 at 10:32 pm  Comments Off on Today’s Joke: Liberals vs. Texans  
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