Today’s Joke: Actually, 2 Jokes

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately:

  • illegal immigration,
  • hurricane recovery,
  • alligators attacking people in Florida .

 

Send More Tourists, the Last Ones Were Delicious!

 

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It’s a win-win situation.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.               

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

~~~

Are there any other problems that you’d like for me to solve today?

Yes!

Think about this one:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington?

And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 18 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

T H E   C O N S T I T U T I O N

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore

T H E  1 0  C O M M A N D M E N T S

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:

  • You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’
  • ”Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ and
  • “Thou Shall Not Lie’

in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians . . . It creates a hostile work environment.

~~~

This blog is a companion to my website: GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Advertisements
Published in: on January 4, 2010 at 9:12 am  Comments Off on Today’s Joke: Actually, 2 Jokes  
Tags:

Last Joke of the Year: An Engineer Goes to Hell

Have a Devil of a Great Time Tonite!

Have a Devil of a Great Time Tonite!

(Folks: Obviously, an engineer wrote this, in spite of the title! You will see why in a minute!)

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.  St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re assigned to hell.”

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and building improvements.

After awhile, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators and — the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan on the telephone, and says with a lordly air, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators.  There’s no telling what  what our engineer is going to come up with next!”

God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should have never gotten down there; send him back immediately!

Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him!”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue!”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers: “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU  going to get a lawyer?”

~~~

As always, “Thanks” to Dorothy139!

~~~

Here’s hoping you and yours have a wonderful and safe NEW YEAR!

~~~

This is a companion to my website: EasyOnlineOrdering.com

~~~

Published in: on December 31, 2008 at 4:14 pm  Comments Off on Last Joke of the Year: An Engineer Goes to Hell  
Tags: , , ,