A Little Humor: Quite a Dog Trick!

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Saw this the other day and had to share it with you!  Just too cute!

This dog has his owner trained!

<div>http://www.dailyhaha.com/_vids/Whohah.swf?Vid=swing-dog.flv<br /> More <a href=”http://www.dailyhaha.com”>Funny Videos</a></div>

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Coming:  Tuesday, May 24 @00.01 am:  See New Post About Fishing via Kayak! 

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

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Published in: on May 23, 2011 at 8:15 am  Comments Off on A Little Humor: Quite a Dog Trick!  
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Today’s Joke: Liberals vs. Texans

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Texas has compiled a Liberal to Texan Translation Directory. This should be helpful for you Californians … and other liberals,  and offer a chuckle for all.

(You need not agree!)

CALIFORNIA                                                      TEXAS

  • Arsenal of Weapons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gun Collection
  • Delicate Wetlands . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Swamp
  • Undocumented Worker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Illegal Alien
  • Cruelty-Free Materials . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Synthetic Fibers

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  • Assault-and-Battery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Attitude Adjustment
  • Heavily Armed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well-protected
  • Narrow Minded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Righteous
  • Taxes or Your Fair Share  . . . . . . . . . . . . Coerced Theft

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  • Common sense Gun Control . . . . . . . . . . Gun Confiscation Plot
  • Illegal Hazardous Explosives . . . . . . . . . Fireworks or Stump Removal
  • Non-viable Tissue Mass . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Unborn baby
  • Equal Access to Opportunity. . . . . . . . . .Socialism

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  • Multicultural Community . . . . . . . . . . . .High Crime Area
  • Fairness or Social Progress . . . . . . . . . . .Marxism
  • Upper Class or “The Rich” . . . . . . . . . . . . Self-Employed
  • Progressive, Change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Big Government Scheme

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  • Homeless or Disadvantaged . . . . . . . . . . Bums or Welfare Leeches
  • Sniper Rifle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Scoped Deer Rifle
  • Investment for the Future . . . . . . . . . . . Higher Taxes
  • Healthcare Reform . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Socialized Medicine

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  • Extremist, Judgmental or Hater . . . . . . .Conservative
  • Truants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Home schoolers
  • Victim or Oppressed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Criminal or Lazy Good for Nothings
  • High Capacity Magazine . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Standard Capacity Magazine

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  • Religious Zealot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Church-going
  • Reintroduced Wolves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sheep & Elk Killers
  • Free Trade Coffee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
  • “Exploiters” or “The Rich” . . . . . . . . . . . . . Employed or Land Owners

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  • The Gun Lobby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . NRA Members
  • Assault Weapon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M-1 Carbine)
  • Fiscal Stimulus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .New Taxes and Higher Taxes
  • Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting . . . . . . Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

Hope you enjoyed this poke at our understanding of the English Language!

Next Time:  We’ll get serious!

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Published in: on May 3, 2011 at 10:32 pm  Comments Off on Today’s Joke: Liberals vs. Texans  
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Today’s Humor: Moms Are VERY Smart!

 

Watch out for Mom!

Watch out for Mom!

 

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal,
Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate,
Jennifer, was.

Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian volunteered, ‘I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.’

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, ‘Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?’

Brian said, ‘Well, I doubt it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be
sure. So he sat down and wrote:

__________________________________________________________

Dear Mom,

I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the gravy ladle from the house, I’m not
saying that you ‘did not’ take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that
one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian

________________________________________________________

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that
read:

____________________________________________________

Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Jennifer, I’m not saying that you
‘do not’ sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is
sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY – NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

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Thanks again to Dorothy139!

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Published in: on June 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm  Comments (2)  
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Recipe: Doves the Easy Way!

 

Doves the Easy Way

Doves the Easy Way!

 

12 medium doves, cleaned

1/2 tsp. seasoned salt

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

1 cup water, divided

1/2 cup melted butter or margarine

2 Tbsp. lemon juice

1 Tbsp. all-purpose flour

Cooked wild rice

Do not wash doves unless necessary and then very quickly. Wipe with a clean, damp cloth or paper towels.

Place doves in a large iron skillet. Combine salt and pepper & sprinkle over doves.  Pour 1/2 cup water into skillet; cover tightly, and team over medium heat 20 minutes. Remove lid and continue cooking until all water is gone.

Add butter and lemon juice to skillet. Continue cooking until doves are brown on all sides, turning occasionally; remove doves from skillet and place in a casserole.

Add flour to drippings in skillet, stirring until smooth; cook over low heat until lightly browned. Add remaining 1/2 cup water; cook until thickened, stirring occasionally.

Pour gravy over doves; serve with wild rice. Yield: 6 servings.

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One of my favorite joke sites online is:

http://miteshasher.blogspot.com/search/label/Office%20humor%20jokes

Here’s one of his priceless pieces!

A man seeking to join a border state Sheriff’s Department is being interviewed.

The Sergeant doing the interview says: “Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted.”

Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: “Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six extremists, and a rabbit.”

“Why the rabbit?”

“Great attitude,” says the Sergeant. “When can you start?”

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Published in: on March 26, 2009 at 10:04 am  Comments Off on Recipe: Doves the Easy Way!  
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Today’s Joke: Be Careful What You Wish For …

 

Who, me?

Who, me?

 

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order “That will be $9.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke.”

The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress.

“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,” says the man.

“Same,” says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.”

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”
“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com

Published in: on October 4, 2008 at 7:37 am  Comments Off on Today’s Joke: Be Careful What You Wish For …  
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