Today’s Joke: Liberals vs. Texans

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Texas has compiled a Liberal to Texan Translation Directory. This should be helpful for you Californians … and other liberals,  and offer a chuckle for all.

(You need not agree!)

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CALIFORNIA                                                      TEXAS

• Arsenal of Weapons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gun Collection

• Delicate Wetlands . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Swamp

• Undocumented Worker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Illegal Alien

• Cruelty-Free Materials . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Synthetic Fibers

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• Assault-and-Battery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Attitude Adjustment

• Heavily Armed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well-protected

• Narrow Minded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Righteous

• Taxes or Your Fair Share  . . . . . . . . . . . . Coerced Theft

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• Common sense Gun Control . . . . . . . . . . Gun Confiscation Plot

• Illegal Hazardous Explosives . . . . . . . . . Fireworks or Stump Removal

• Non-viable Tissue Mass . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Unborn baby

• Equal Access to Opportunity. . . . . . . . . .Socialism

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• Multicultural Community . . . . . . . . . . . .High Crime Area

• Fairness or Social Progress . . . . . . . . . . .Marxism

• Upper Class or “The Rich” . . . . . . . . . . . . Self-Employed

• Progressive, Change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Big Government Scheme

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• Homeless or Disadvantaged . . . . . . . . . . Bums or Welfare Leeches

• Sniper Rifle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Scoped Deer Rifle

• Investment for the Future . . . . . . . . . . . Higher Taxes

• Healthcare Reform . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Socialized Medicine

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• Extremist, Judgmental or Hater . . . . . . .Conservative

• Truants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Home schoolers

• Victim or Oppressed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Criminal or Lazy Good for Nothings

• High Capacity Magazine . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Standard Capacity Magazine

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• Religious Zealot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Church-going

• Reintroduced Wolves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sheep & Elk Killers

• Free Trade Coffee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Overpriced Yuppie Coffee

• “Exploiters” or “The Rich” . . . . . . . . . . . . . Employed or Land Owners

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• The Gun Lobby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . NRA Members

• Assault Weapon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M-1 Carbine)

• Fiscal Stimulus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .New Taxes and Higher Taxes

• Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting . . . . . . Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

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Hope you enjoyed this poke at our understanding of the English Language!

Next Time:  We’ll get serious!

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This blog is a companion to my website:  GreatGhilliesAndGraphics.com